If you’re considering working with a coach, or a healer, intuitive, psychic to assist you in some aspect of your being and life, what expectations do you have for the relationship?
Do you know what each of you is bringing to the sessions and whether you’re a match?
If you haven’t explored this then I believe it’s something you might like to consider in order to make your time together as powerful and beneficial as possible. If either of you view the sessions in a different way, and have requirements and expectations that you haven’t voiced then this can lead to disappointment and resentment. You might get a feeling of heaviness and reluctance to engage.
I believe that the coaching/therapist/healer/psychic relationship holds the potential for much growth and change and a lot of this can come from the relationship itself that you create between you.
What do I believe it’s important to consider with the relationship?
Commitment: this means that each of you bring 100% to it. It’s not simply the “professional” giving you information or insights or ideas or a set of instructions or how-tos. It’s not about being presented with a definite answer, such as if you do (a) then you’ll get (b) result. You’re an individual with your own individual history, circumstances, beliefs, emotions etc. So it’s about exploring what’s right for you at any given moment, what might work for you, what resonates. Commitment is about showing up and being willing to investigate what’s going on for you and how things are landing. Does your coach treat you as an individual and listen to what you’re saying or is it more of a cookie-cutter approach – well, this works for other people so it must work for you, kind of thing. Commitment is each person bringing readiness, willingness, an investment of their energy and time to the session.
Integrity: This is about what this means for each of you. How important is integrity to you? Do you keep your promises, honour what you say? How do you feel if others don’t? And when you don’t do something that you said you would – then how do you respond? Do you make excuses? Deny it? Blame someone or something else? I don’t believe it’s about blame or wronging or criticising but instead I see it as an opportunity to look at why? What came up for you internally? Are you willing to explore this and work through it? What beliefs and thoughts and feelings arise? Is there a sense within the relationship that each of you is honouring what’s true for you?
Authenticity: I believe it’s important to be able to be honest about what’s going on for you. If you’re not enjoying something, struggling, don’t agree, don’t understand, it’s important to be able to articulate that without fear. I’ve been in relationships – friends and also with a coach, where I felt afraid. Scared that if I “disagreed” or questioned I’d be shouted at, ridiculed, shamed, feel stupid, less than. This only led to me feeling shut down. It wasn’t helpful. A powerful and productive relationship is one where trust can build and where it’s ok to voice what’s going on for you. To speak up if you’re feeling some emotion around something you’ve done or not done, rather than making light of it or saying other than what is true for you. A coaching relationship is just that, a relationship. So it’s important that you can both give feedback and speak up about what’s coming up during the sessions and know that you’ll be respectfully heard.
Open-minded. Are you willing to show up with a fresh mind? Are you open to new perspectives, new possibilities? Willing to see things differently. Have you ever been in a relationship where the other person based their view of you on the past? Well 2 years ago you did this, you felt that, said that. But you’ve changed. That’s not your response anymore. Treating each occasion as fresh and new lets you see new possibilities, opens things up, allows for new to come in. Also, if you have fixed ideas about exactly “how” or “what” things should be then it may create limitations. This doesn’t mean that you should agree to something that you’re not happy with or go along with a suggestion just because your coach suggests it. Certainly not. But it does mean being willing to consider different to what you know now.
Co-creation: A relationship where you’re able to connect authentically and feel able to be honest and open can help you to go deeper and really see yourself and your life in a whole new way. It can create a container for you to explore without judgement or fear and let the true you be seen, heard and supported.
I believe that exploring things such as those I’ve mentioned above and any others that come up for you means that you can be on the same page for your sessions. You’re able to connect on an even field with conscious awareness of what you’re intending. It lays a valuable foundation and tone for the relationship. It can enable trust, safety, respect, nurturing, support, clarity and bring excitement about what’s going to transpire.
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