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The devastating effect of criticism on your life

Criticism can have a devastating effect on your life.

If you were raised in a household where criticism and negative remarks were the norm then you'll likely have grown up with poor self-esteem, self-belief, self- worth and not enjoying the happiness and success you'd truly like.

"Don't" .... do that, feel that, think that, be like that.

"Why aren't you/why can't you" ..... doing that, being like that, feeling that?

You're "too" fat, thin, stupid, clever, tidy, messy, quick, slow.....

You'll "never" be able to do that, achieve that....

Then there's the more hidden or implied criticism. So, for example, when I got "B" grades I was told that I "should" have got an "A". That I was capable of an "A". So instead of feeling happy I felt I'd somehow failed, was a disappointment, not done enough.

When I went to competitions and festivals and came second or third I was told how great the first place person was, how much better they were and how I'd not get placed first if they were there.

Maybe you're someone who stopped singing, believing you weren't good enough or feel embarrassed about your voice because of what you were told. Perhaps you stopped painting or doing a sport you loved because of negative remarks and criticism that you received.

Have you ever experienced what it's like to work for a boss who continually finds fault with your work? You don't receive any constructive advice about what they'd like you to change, just simply criticism about what you're doing, the quality of your work, the speed, your writing, communication. You start to dread going in to work, feel that knot in your stomach.

Maybe it's your partner at home or a family member. You hear criticism about how you dress, what time you get up, how much time you spend watching the tv, going out, enjoying hobbies, your work - or lack of it -, your spending habits, your tone of voice. The list is endless.

Criticism can be destructive, devastating and debilitating. It can leave you frozen in your tracks. Scared to take a step in case you get it "wrong".

You begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. You start to hesitate, hold back, fade into the background, settle for less, afraid to voice your desires, ask for what you really want, reluctant to express yourself truthfully because of concern of the consequences. Criticism holds you back in life, stops you knowing real peace, happiness, fulfillment. Stops you believing in you.

I read somewhere, I don't remember where now, so here is the gist of what I read, that criticism, sarcasm and belittling can scar a child and person for life. Whereas one word of kindness can elevate them to achieve greatness. And David Hawkins in "Power Versus Force" tells us how one person vibrating from love counterbalances almost one million vibrating at a much lower level such as hate.

Picture too the experiments done by Dr Emoto showing images of water that varied in appearance depending on what words had been spoken to them. And experiments with jars of rice which turned dirty and rancid when harsh, critical words were spoken to them. One of the most helpful and loving things you can do for yourself and for others is to let go of criticism. Firstly be aware of how you speak to yourself and then consciously ensure that you drop all criticism of yourself and others and instead choose words of kindness, compassion, love, encouragement.

Why not experiment? For one day be aware of what words come out of your mouth and what words go round in your head. Notice, without criticism!! 🙂 , whether your words are kind or critical. If you talk harshly, critically to yourself how does it make you feel? And when you speak with kindness, how does that feel?

If you want to change your life for the better and enjoy greater ease in your body and in your outer world, then drop criticism and notice what difference you see.  Feel free to let me know what you experience.

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